This is my new title.  I am finally able to say that I stay home during my days, taking care of my home and husband.  No longer am I confined to a desk for nine hours a day, whittling away my time in return for a check.  No longer do I come home from work exhausted, swollen and bloated from sitting for so long.  Nope, now I get to be active and productive at home.  This is such an exciting time for me.

So how did it happen?  Well, simple really.  I got laid off work.  At this point people usually say, “oh no, I’m so sorry!” but I say, don’t be.  Why should you be if I’m not?  You see, I’ve been *hoping* to get laid off for months now!

For a few years now, HaShem has been doing interesting things in me.  He’s been changing many things about me, including turning my heart towards home.  First he turned my heart and I was left wondering how I was going to fulfill this new desire within me to come home.  How could I when we needed the money, when it was socially not very acceptable for a woman to stay home, when my husband wanted me at work…?  Slowly, I began to look for ways in which I could fulfill this new calling.  I began to learn a lot of different ways to live more simply so that it wouldn’t be “necessary” to have two incomes.  My husband too, was learning new ways to do this, totally on his own.  We came together to discuss these new things excited about being “on the same page” about simplicity, but the hubby was still not sure about me not having a job.

Slowly, over the last few months, hubby has had his heart turn towards home as well.  HaShem has been preparing him as well as me, for His timing.  This year, my work has had many layoffs.  At first, my husband was very worried over them and thankful that I “survived” them while I sat there thinking, is this the time, L-rd?  Am I supposed to quit or get laid off?  Is this your plan?  But he always said “not yet.”  As the months passed, the hubby began to accept the idea of my getting laid off and even started getting excited at the thought.  I couldn’t believe the change in his attitude over this, but then, that’s what usually happens when HaShem changes a person.  

This time, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that it was my turn.  From the outside it might seem to be bad timing.  After all, I’m in my third trimester of pregnancy and surely I need the health insurance coverage, right?  Thankfully, we chose to go with a midwife, which means the rates are substantially lower than hospital bills would be, and anyway we can get cobra at low rates for nine months.  Not only that, but getting laid off means I can rest and prop my feet up whenever I need to, not have to ask for permission to use the restroom (which we all know is quite often for pregnant ladies) and feeling bad making someone cover for me for a few minutes almost every hour.   It means I can get unemployment benefits for a time, while I look for something I can do from home to bring in a small income.  Not that we need it, but it’s been the plan for a while for me to have some kind of backup income should something happen.  With maternity leave there is no pay at all!  They just hold your job for 12 weeks.  It means not having to get up at 5:45 a.m. to catch the 6:50 a.m. bus so I can get to work at 8.  It means not getting home so late and tired that I can barely force myself to make dinner, and not getting to eat it until after 7:30 p.m. the doing chores and getting to bed late.  I mean, seriously, how is this not so much better?

It’s been amazing for me to see how HaShem’s plans develop in my life.  They really are better than anything I could have planned for myself and His timing is impeccable!  This is why I have been such a happy person since my layoff.  You wouldn’t believe how giddy I was that day and the days immediately following.  It’s over a week later now and I’m a little shocked to feel *so comfortable* in this new role.  I feel like I’ve been doing this forever and it’s even hard now for me to imagine having to get up to go to work!  

So yes, I got laid off, but it’s the best thing that has happened to me in months!  It’s a blessing! And we are doing fine.  We are both happy I’m finally home.  

Baruch HaShem for this and all His blessings in my life.

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