You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘reminiscing’ tag.

A year or so ago, maybe even longer, I had a recurring dream.  I dreamt that my little sister had taken up smoking.  At the time the dreams confused me, bewildered me, even angered me, but I didn’t say anything about it.  I kept them to myself.  It was too crazy to be true. 

Then, the last time my sister was here visiting me we had a few heart-to-hearts where she told me she had taken up the habit for a little while.  I was floored.  Stunned.  Inwardly, of course.  At the time I couldn’t make out my feelings.  Had my dreams been a warning to me that I ignored?  Could I have played a part in changing my sister’s mind had I voiced my concern?  I don’t know.  I have no idea whatsoever.  Even now I don’t know what to think.

This weekend I had another dream.  Read the rest of this entry »

askawhizWhen I was younger we moved around a lot.  I went to three different elementary schools.  One for first grade, one for second and one for third through sixth. 

I think it was for math placement in my third school that they made me go through an oral exam.  I had to meet with someone and answer the questions he gave me in order to test my knowledge.  I was not the only one doing the test, and from the looks of the guy I was certainly not among the first few.  He looked like he could really use a cup of coffee. 

We went through the first few questions and I’m guessing I was performing in the average range, until he asked me, “What’s the opposite of parallel?”

I thought a moment.  “Perpendicular.”

His hand gave way from under his head and I thought it was going to fall onto the desk.  His eyes got huge. “What did you say?”

Read the rest of this entry »

As I was cleaning today I was thinking back to something my husband had asked me. Earlier this week I was doing my nails and, of course, I wasn’t doing it the way any other normal person would. I always get my nail as evenly as possible, but in the process the nailpolish gets on the surrounding skin, too. My husband looks at my fingers and asks, “Is it supposed to look like that? Should you go wash that off or something?”** It was this question that took me to my flashback.

Read the rest of this entry »

Eight years ago today I lost my father to a heart attack.  I miss him terribly.

Read the rest of this entry »

Last night, as I was sitting at the dining room table lighting my advent candles, I was in a funk. I wasn’t feeling right. As I lit the third “Joy” candle it hit me. I wasn’t feeling joy.

Usually this time of year is full of joy for me. I LOVE Christmas. I can listen to Christmas songs 24-7 for a month and a half and never get tired of them. I can bake Christmas sweets one after the other and not get tired of it. I am usually prancing around with a big grin on my face, attempting to hum/sing Christmas songs that usually end up being slightly off-tune. But yesterday I was slightly “off” all day and I couldn’t understand what it was until I lit the “Joy” candle and realized I didn’t have any joy. I was very disturbed about it. I sat through my dinner wondering why I wasn’t joyful, and went to work today without a song in my heart despite my attempt to put one there by listening to the songs on the radio. I wasn’t feeling good this morning so that didn’t help my situation any, but even on my way back from the doctor’s office I hadn’t been able to place why I was feeling so down.

Until “The Christmas Song” as sung by Nat “King” Cole came on. As I listened to the song I grew sadder and sadder and finally I knew what it was. I was remembering my dad and suddenly I was overcome by grief and tears started rolling down my cheeks. That song reminds me of my dad so much I couldn’t help but cry thinking of him. All of the little memories I have came flooding in my mind. It was around this time of year that my dad was with us for the last time. After new years he passed away. I remembered how happy I was when he came back from Peru, how we spent that Christmas with his best friend (we called him uncle), how happy that time was. What a shock it was when he suddenly wasn’t there anymore. How death is so unnatural.

But I’m glad I had that time with him. And I’m glad I have this song to always remind my heart of him. Now I feel better that I had my moment to grieve for my dad. I’m glad I can keep him in my heart during this season. I have two fathers in heaven now, and I know they’re both with me. It’s a very comforting thought since this Christmas has the potential of being a lonely time. It’s good to know you’re never alone.

A little poem behind the cut

Today, as it often happens, I was thinking of my dad. I remembered when he came home from Peru that last time and how he looked so happy to see me. He lifted me up in the middle of the living room and twirled me around (no easy task at that time). I really, really miss him so much. It hurts me to think that at the time I didn’t appreciate him as much as I should have. If I would have known that he was going to die two months later… things would have been different. I can guarantee that.

I thought about how I wished I could fly out to Cali to put flowers on his grave. It’s been at least two years that I haven’t done that. Then I wondered what kind of horrible person I was for moving so far away and not putting flowers on my father’s grave.

Have you ever had strange, morbid thoughts? I pictured getting married over my dad’s grave so he would be there on my wedding day. I know he’s not really there, but I kind of feel like that’s all I have left of him. And I wish so bad that he were still here today.

Minutia of My Life

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Follow Me on Networked Blogs

Reliv International: My Business

My Business

Archives